Bombs or Medicine

I was talking to a friend the other day about classes and courses, and the people who take them, receive certification from them, and/or teach them... their actions, attitudes, etc...
Since our conversation, there's been a lot of chatter with some of the same questions and comments... so I'm tackling the topic here, giving my point of view...
When I was talking my friend, I explained it like this:
What we're talking about is a technology, like any other, and how they use it depends on their personal ethics and cultural values... like somebody with a degree in chemistry could make bombs or medicine, it all depends on application. All of the "How could they..." or "How dare they..." or other kinds of "What the hell?" type of thoughts you may have regarding their actions and attitudes indicates a difference of values and ethics.
Does that mean their values and ethics are wrong and bad, while yours are right and good?
ehhh... maybe, though not necessarily. Until you take a step back and look at the cultural lens, rather than through it, all it really means is that they're different.

That being said, let's take a look at what that cultural lens is, and how it plays out.

We each have a set of behavioral expectations that are connected to social roles... these are based on the cultural values, whether from an overall culture, an institutional culture, or from a personal micro-culture.

Behavioral expectations: this is a set of actions, activities, and attitudes that are accepted and expected... to act, think, or believe in ways contrary to these expectations is unacceptable or taboo within the culture promoting them.
Social roles: these are often labels we use to describe a certain sect of individuals who hold a position in society... examples would include: mother, sister, lover, friend, healer, teacher, student, clergy, etc
Values: more than simply an accepted morality, this also indicates the value of an ideal, symbol, attitude, belief, action, etc.

Behavioral expectations can be made into laws within the culture, though some are not. There are no laws that say you have to keep your nasal mucus from running down your face, but there is a behavioral expectation, isn't there? There may also be restrictions for people in health care roles, too. The behavioral expectation is based on a cultural value and taboo regarding bodily fluids.

Using the above example, let's take a look at tools and technologies. The same technology (wiping the face) is also used when little Johnny uses his sleeve to wipe off Aunt Martha's familial kisses. However, there are expectations and taboos regarding using the same tool (sleeve) to wipe snot from his nose.

Now let's look at the "How dare you - how could you - what the hell" type of thinking regarding behavioral expectations. I used to know an elderly woman who would have mortified if she saw me using toilet paper on my nose. In her belief, every proper woman would have a hanky stuffed up her sleeve or tucked into her purse for that purpose... and you just didn't use the same tool for your nose and your arse. She was VERY set in her behavioral expectations... to the point where any deviation was so unacceptable that it would severely hamper our relationship.

The same concept can be applied to religion, spirituality, spiritual technologies, and cultural methodologies.

Personally, I place a high Value on independence... I value expressions of individuality and diversity much more than those of conformity... and a negative value on "One-True-Way" beliefs and "My way is the right way" pressures.
There are people in my life who do not believe as I do... who have different opinions... even times when we are both using the same data to support dramatically opposed opinions (which actually happens a lot more than most realize)... and that's ok.
It doesn't mean that I want to consistently hang out with the people with dramatically opposed values and beliefs. And I strongly feel that to try to convince them to change their beliefs, values, and attitudes is an infringement upon their independence... but I don't have to be affected by them, either (laws excepted).

I do not have to engage in the drama of attempted proselytism... no one does... no one has to try to force their Values and behavioral expectations onto another person, regardless of the social role the other claims... that action is as much of a choice as anything the other does.

That's right. You have a choice. I know a lot of people who don't think they have that choice... they think that not responding would mean something more (or be seen as something more) than simple non-engagement... but all that extra, added meaning is actually a "superior/inferior" ego story that's been fluffed and stuffed with suppositions and inferences.

There's another aspect to intolerance, too... and that's the "once a bomb-maker, always a bomb-maker" attitude, that doesn't allow for personal growth... but this post is quite long enough.

Namaste