How you feel emotionally about things is recorded in every cell of the body, in your personality, your mind, in your Core.
When we talk of giving charitably... of feeding the hungry, giving water to the thirsty, giving shelter to the homeless... what is being given and to whom it goes, are not essential to the wholeness of the giver. It is the feeling you experience when you openly, lovingly Give that registers within the giver.
When Love is the motivation, giving water to a dying plant or giving food to a hungry person gains as much Enlightenment and Knowing of Life and Creation as any meditation or religious practice.
Action is only a channel in which the feeling, the intent, is allowed to be expressed, experienced, and fills the eternal part of us.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Unpredictable Behavior
A couple years ago, when the economy started to tank heavily, several people in my life began making predictions regarding what they considered to be the imminent behavior of humans.
These predictions were rather dark & gloomy, boasting that the selfish and violent side of human behavior would prevail and degrade urban civilization into mobs of "me first" gangs by the summer of 2010.
People who made these predictions believe that human compassion is a concept that is implied by society, not an innate urge, and would be drastically reduced (or completely gone) by this point in the economic downturn.
Really?
I wonder how they're going to explain the actual urban trends... at least here in Reno, Nevada...
Violent crime (per thousand): Down.
Burglary: Down.
Contributions to local charities (not including world-wide relief efforts): Up.
It certainly doesn't show their predicted fall of society... I wonder how they will explain it.
These predictions were rather dark & gloomy, boasting that the selfish and violent side of human behavior would prevail and degrade urban civilization into mobs of "me first" gangs by the summer of 2010.
People who made these predictions believe that human compassion is a concept that is implied by society, not an innate urge, and would be drastically reduced (or completely gone) by this point in the economic downturn.
Really?
I wonder how they're going to explain the actual urban trends... at least here in Reno, Nevada...
Violent crime (per thousand): Down.
Burglary: Down.
Contributions to local charities (not including world-wide relief efforts): Up.
It certainly doesn't show their predicted fall of society... I wonder how they will explain it.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Bombs or Medicine
I was talking to a friend the other day about classes and courses, and the people who take them, receive certification from them, and/or teach them... their actions, attitudes, etc...
Since our conversation, there's been a lot of chatter with some of the same questions and comments... so I'm tackling the topic here, giving my point of view...
When I was talking my friend, I explained it like this:
What we're talking about is a technology, like any other, and how they use it depends on their personal ethics and cultural values... like somebody with a degree in chemistry could make bombs or medicine, it all depends on application. All of the "How could they..." or "How dare they..." or other kinds of "What the hell?" type of thoughts you may have regarding their actions and attitudes indicates a difference of values and ethics.
Does that mean their values and ethics are wrong and bad, while yours are right and good?
ehhh... maybe, though not necessarily. Until you take a step back and look at the cultural lens, rather than through it, all it really means is that they're different.
That being said, let's take a look at what that cultural lens is, and how it plays out.
We each have a set of behavioral expectations that are connected to social roles... these are based on the cultural values, whether from an overall culture, an institutional culture, or from a personal micro-culture.
Behavioral expectations: this is a set of actions, activities, and attitudes that are accepted and expected... to act, think, or believe in ways contrary to these expectations is unacceptable or taboo within the culture promoting them.
Social roles: these are often labels we use to describe a certain sect of individuals who hold a position in society... examples would include: mother, sister, lover, friend, healer, teacher, student, clergy, etc
Values: more than simply an accepted morality, this also indicates the value of an ideal, symbol, attitude, belief, action, etc.
Behavioral expectations can be made into laws within the culture, though some are not. There are no laws that say you have to keep your nasal mucus from running down your face, but there is a behavioral expectation, isn't there? There may also be restrictions for people in health care roles, too. The behavioral expectation is based on a cultural value and taboo regarding bodily fluids.
Using the above example, let's take a look at tools and technologies. The same technology (wiping the face) is also used when little Johnny uses his sleeve to wipe off Aunt Martha's familial kisses. However, there are expectations and taboos regarding using the same tool (sleeve) to wipe snot from his nose.
Now let's look at the "How dare you - how could you - what the hell" type of thinking regarding behavioral expectations. I used to know an elderly woman who would have mortified if she saw me using toilet paper on my nose. In her belief, every proper woman would have a hanky stuffed up her sleeve or tucked into her purse for that purpose... and you just didn't use the same tool for your nose and your arse. She was VERY set in her behavioral expectations... to the point where any deviation was so unacceptable that it would severely hamper our relationship.
The same concept can be applied to religion, spirituality, spiritual technologies, and cultural methodologies.
Personally, I place a high Value on independence... I value expressions of individuality and diversity much more than those of conformity... and a negative value on "One-True-Way" beliefs and "My way is the right way" pressures.
There are people in my life who do not believe as I do... who have different opinions... even times when we are both using the same data to support dramatically opposed opinions (which actually happens a lot more than most realize)... and that's ok.
It doesn't mean that I want to consistently hang out with the people with dramatically opposed values and beliefs. And I strongly feel that to try to convince them to change their beliefs, values, and attitudes is an infringement upon their independence... but I don't have to be affected by them, either (laws excepted).
I do not have to engage in the drama of attempted proselytism... no one does... no one has to try to force their Values and behavioral expectations onto another person, regardless of the social role the other claims... that action is as much of a choice as anything the other does.
That's right. You have a choice. I know a lot of people who don't think they have that choice... they think that not responding would mean something more (or be seen as something more) than simple non-engagement... but all that extra, added meaning is actually a "superior/inferior" ego story that's been fluffed and stuffed with suppositions and inferences.
There's another aspect to intolerance, too... and that's the "once a bomb-maker, always a bomb-maker" attitude, that doesn't allow for personal growth... but this post is quite long enough.
Namaste
Since our conversation, there's been a lot of chatter with some of the same questions and comments... so I'm tackling the topic here, giving my point of view...
When I was talking my friend, I explained it like this:
What we're talking about is a technology, like any other, and how they use it depends on their personal ethics and cultural values... like somebody with a degree in chemistry could make bombs or medicine, it all depends on application. All of the "How could they..." or "How dare they..." or other kinds of "What the hell?" type of thoughts you may have regarding their actions and attitudes indicates a difference of values and ethics.
Does that mean their values and ethics are wrong and bad, while yours are right and good?
ehhh... maybe, though not necessarily. Until you take a step back and look at the cultural lens, rather than through it, all it really means is that they're different.
That being said, let's take a look at what that cultural lens is, and how it plays out.
We each have a set of behavioral expectations that are connected to social roles... these are based on the cultural values, whether from an overall culture, an institutional culture, or from a personal micro-culture.
Behavioral expectations: this is a set of actions, activities, and attitudes that are accepted and expected... to act, think, or believe in ways contrary to these expectations is unacceptable or taboo within the culture promoting them.
Social roles: these are often labels we use to describe a certain sect of individuals who hold a position in society... examples would include: mother, sister, lover, friend, healer, teacher, student, clergy, etc
Values: more than simply an accepted morality, this also indicates the value of an ideal, symbol, attitude, belief, action, etc.
Behavioral expectations can be made into laws within the culture, though some are not. There are no laws that say you have to keep your nasal mucus from running down your face, but there is a behavioral expectation, isn't there? There may also be restrictions for people in health care roles, too. The behavioral expectation is based on a cultural value and taboo regarding bodily fluids.
Using the above example, let's take a look at tools and technologies. The same technology (wiping the face) is also used when little Johnny uses his sleeve to wipe off Aunt Martha's familial kisses. However, there are expectations and taboos regarding using the same tool (sleeve) to wipe snot from his nose.
Now let's look at the "How dare you - how could you - what the hell" type of thinking regarding behavioral expectations. I used to know an elderly woman who would have mortified if she saw me using toilet paper on my nose. In her belief, every proper woman would have a hanky stuffed up her sleeve or tucked into her purse for that purpose... and you just didn't use the same tool for your nose and your arse. She was VERY set in her behavioral expectations... to the point where any deviation was so unacceptable that it would severely hamper our relationship.
The same concept can be applied to religion, spirituality, spiritual technologies, and cultural methodologies.
Personally, I place a high Value on independence... I value expressions of individuality and diversity much more than those of conformity... and a negative value on "One-True-Way" beliefs and "My way is the right way" pressures.
There are people in my life who do not believe as I do... who have different opinions... even times when we are both using the same data to support dramatically opposed opinions (which actually happens a lot more than most realize)... and that's ok.
It doesn't mean that I want to consistently hang out with the people with dramatically opposed values and beliefs. And I strongly feel that to try to convince them to change their beliefs, values, and attitudes is an infringement upon their independence... but I don't have to be affected by them, either (laws excepted).
I do not have to engage in the drama of attempted proselytism... no one does... no one has to try to force their Values and behavioral expectations onto another person, regardless of the social role the other claims... that action is as much of a choice as anything the other does.
That's right. You have a choice. I know a lot of people who don't think they have that choice... they think that not responding would mean something more (or be seen as something more) than simple non-engagement... but all that extra, added meaning is actually a "superior/inferior" ego story that's been fluffed and stuffed with suppositions and inferences.
There's another aspect to intolerance, too... and that's the "once a bomb-maker, always a bomb-maker" attitude, that doesn't allow for personal growth... but this post is quite long enough.
Namaste
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Ego Stories
What is an Ego Story, and how do they develop?
An Ego Story is a tale that we tell ourselves which may or may not be completely true. Regardless of the quantity or quality of verifiable facts, the ego uses these stories as a facet of our self-identification. Stories actually allow the Extrinsic Ego to affect deeper into the spiral and closer to our Core. Although the reasons the stories develop can vary, the process is generally the same.
The ego finds a dataset to work with, external to the person.
The dataset is compared to the self.
The dataset is compared to previous stories and experiences.
A value is placed on the dataset.
A story is created to place the self in a superior or inferior position, relative to the value of the dataset.
The ego self-identifies through the superior/inferior position within the story.
Let’s follow a few hypothetical people in hypothetical situations...
Jane is watching television one night and sees a commercial for wrinkle cream. Her ego grabs onto the message, “You don’t have to look old and wrinkled; you can look young and beautiful.” The commercial shows women of her age enjoying romantic encounters, happy family lives, successful careers, and active lifestyles. When Jane is readying for bed, she notices the lines and wrinkles on her face like she has never noticed them before. Her ego begins to tell her the story... the reason Jane is not living a fruitful life is because she’s showing signs of age... the women in the commercial are superior to Jane... wrinkles have a negative value, looking young has a positive value. Jane begins to think of all of the women in her life, comparing her signs of age to theirs. She beings to see herself as either superior or inferior to each woman by the amount of wrinkles and lines on their faces.
We can substitute virtually anything in the place of those wrinkles and lines. It could be a material possession, family name, an aspect of beauty, or any other facet that is outside of a person’s inner-self.
Lucy meets up with her friends at a bar for Ladies’ Night Out. Tammy proudly shows off the jewelry a new boyfriend gifted to her. Lucy’s ego takes her on a stroll down Memory Lane to a time when Lucy’s sister received jewelry as an apology for her boyfriend’s cheating ways. Before long, Lucy is telling her other friends that Tammy’s new boyfriend “must be a cheating, lying creep.”
Lucy’s ego feels superior to others because she feels she knows something they don’t know, although most of the story is a creation of the ego, unsupported by the facts of the known dataset. The subject and players in the story can be substituted with an infinitude of variations... "I used to live in a bad area, so I know a criminal when I see one"... "I used to get picked on by jocks, so I know they're all terrible people"... etc.
Tammy's ego feels superior to the others because her boyfriend spent a lot of money on her, and it's something the other ladies don't have.
ANY story that creates a superior/inferior situation is an Ego Story that sabotages our relationship with Core.
An Ego Story is a tale that we tell ourselves which may or may not be completely true. Regardless of the quantity or quality of verifiable facts, the ego uses these stories as a facet of our self-identification. Stories actually allow the Extrinsic Ego to affect deeper into the spiral and closer to our Core. Although the reasons the stories develop can vary, the process is generally the same.
The ego finds a dataset to work with, external to the person.
The dataset is compared to the self.
The dataset is compared to previous stories and experiences.
A value is placed on the dataset.
A story is created to place the self in a superior or inferior position, relative to the value of the dataset.
The ego self-identifies through the superior/inferior position within the story.
Let’s follow a few hypothetical people in hypothetical situations...
Jane is watching television one night and sees a commercial for wrinkle cream. Her ego grabs onto the message, “You don’t have to look old and wrinkled; you can look young and beautiful.” The commercial shows women of her age enjoying romantic encounters, happy family lives, successful careers, and active lifestyles. When Jane is readying for bed, she notices the lines and wrinkles on her face like she has never noticed them before. Her ego begins to tell her the story... the reason Jane is not living a fruitful life is because she’s showing signs of age... the women in the commercial are superior to Jane... wrinkles have a negative value, looking young has a positive value. Jane begins to think of all of the women in her life, comparing her signs of age to theirs. She beings to see herself as either superior or inferior to each woman by the amount of wrinkles and lines on their faces.
We can substitute virtually anything in the place of those wrinkles and lines. It could be a material possession, family name, an aspect of beauty, or any other facet that is outside of a person’s inner-self.
Lucy meets up with her friends at a bar for Ladies’ Night Out. Tammy proudly shows off the jewelry a new boyfriend gifted to her. Lucy’s ego takes her on a stroll down Memory Lane to a time when Lucy’s sister received jewelry as an apology for her boyfriend’s cheating ways. Before long, Lucy is telling her other friends that Tammy’s new boyfriend “must be a cheating, lying creep.”
Lucy’s ego feels superior to others because she feels she knows something they don’t know, although most of the story is a creation of the ego, unsupported by the facts of the known dataset. The subject and players in the story can be substituted with an infinitude of variations... "I used to live in a bad area, so I know a criminal when I see one"... "I used to get picked on by jocks, so I know they're all terrible people"... etc.
Tammy's ego feels superior to the others because her boyfriend spent a lot of money on her, and it's something the other ladies don't have.
ANY story that creates a superior/inferior situation is an Ego Story that sabotages our relationship with Core.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Is That So?
I don't know how many times I've said something like, "It's a struggle to stay positive when I'm being bombarded with negativity..."
I recently realized that "struggling to stay positive" is much like "f*cking to stay a virgin." It doesn't make sense... and the more I contemplate it, the less it adds up.
So what does make sense? How would one deal with negativity in a positive way? The answer is not resisting or allowing it to influence you.
I'm still working on it... haven't perfected the skill quite yet... but I have a better understanding of the working concept...
The Zen Master Hakuin lived in a town in Japan. He was held in high regard and many people came to him for spiritual teaching. Then it happened that the teenage daughter of his next-door neighbor became pregnant. When being questioned by her angry and scolding parents as to the identity of the father, she finally told them that he was Hakuin, the Zen Master. In great anger the parents rushed over to Hakuin and told him with much shouting and accusing that their daughter had confessed he was the father. All he replied was, "Is that so?"
News of the scandal spread throughout the town and beyond. The Master lost his reputation. This did not trouble him. Nobody came to see him anymore. He remained unmoved. When the child was born, the parents brought the baby to Hakuin. "You are the father, so you look after him." The Master took loving care of the child. A year later, the mother remorsefully confessed to her parents that the real father of the child was the young man who worked at the butcher shop. In great distress they went to see Hakuin to apologize and ask his forgiveness, "We are really sorry. We have come to take the baby back. Our daughter has confessed that you are not the father." "Is that so?" is all he would say as he handed the baby back over to them.
The Master responds to falsehood and truth, bad news and good news, in exactly the same way: "Is that so?"
He allows the form of the Moment, good or bad, to be as it is and so he does not participate in the human drama of the "superior/inferior" stories of ego.
Events are not personalized. He is nobody's victim. He is so completely at one with what happens that what happens has no power over him anymore.
Only if you resist what happens are you at the mercy of what happens, and the world will determine your happiness and unhappiness.
I recently realized that "struggling to stay positive" is much like "f*cking to stay a virgin." It doesn't make sense... and the more I contemplate it, the less it adds up.
So what does make sense? How would one deal with negativity in a positive way? The answer is not resisting or allowing it to influence you.
I'm still working on it... haven't perfected the skill quite yet... but I have a better understanding of the working concept...
The Zen Master Hakuin lived in a town in Japan. He was held in high regard and many people came to him for spiritual teaching. Then it happened that the teenage daughter of his next-door neighbor became pregnant. When being questioned by her angry and scolding parents as to the identity of the father, she finally told them that he was Hakuin, the Zen Master. In great anger the parents rushed over to Hakuin and told him with much shouting and accusing that their daughter had confessed he was the father. All he replied was, "Is that so?"
News of the scandal spread throughout the town and beyond. The Master lost his reputation. This did not trouble him. Nobody came to see him anymore. He remained unmoved. When the child was born, the parents brought the baby to Hakuin. "You are the father, so you look after him." The Master took loving care of the child. A year later, the mother remorsefully confessed to her parents that the real father of the child was the young man who worked at the butcher shop. In great distress they went to see Hakuin to apologize and ask his forgiveness, "We are really sorry. We have come to take the baby back. Our daughter has confessed that you are not the father." "Is that so?" is all he would say as he handed the baby back over to them.
The Master responds to falsehood and truth, bad news and good news, in exactly the same way: "Is that so?"
He allows the form of the Moment, good or bad, to be as it is and so he does not participate in the human drama of the "superior/inferior" stories of ego.
Events are not personalized. He is nobody's victim. He is so completely at one with what happens that what happens has no power over him anymore.
Only if you resist what happens are you at the mercy of what happens, and the world will determine your happiness and unhappiness.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Gift Worthy?
I recently encountered a situation that was very confusing... just can't seem to wrap my mind around it... so, I'm writing it out to try to figure it out...
My daughter was sent a gift. A beautiful gift by some beautiful people, and it really made her day to know that someone in her life considered her to be "gift-worthy." This lovely gesture was blemished by another person in our lives who took the attitude that somehow it reflected on my daughter's spending habits... not the person who sent the gift, but the person receiving it.... ????
I don't understand. Really don't understand.
Should we not accept gifts?
Should I have not accepted the kayaks I got for fifteen years of service at IGT?
... the televisions and other furniture from David's parents?
... the travel trailers, refrigerators, and other things from friends?
... the various office equipment, clothing or other personal goods?
If we don't have the money to pay for the object ourselves, then we're obligated to not accept the object as a gift?
Is that how it works?
I'm not sure.
My daughter was sent a gift. A beautiful gift by some beautiful people, and it really made her day to know that someone in her life considered her to be "gift-worthy." This lovely gesture was blemished by another person in our lives who took the attitude that somehow it reflected on my daughter's spending habits... not the person who sent the gift, but the person receiving it.... ????
I don't understand. Really don't understand.
Should we not accept gifts?
Should I have not accepted the kayaks I got for fifteen years of service at IGT?
... the televisions and other furniture from David's parents?
... the travel trailers, refrigerators, and other things from friends?
... the various office equipment, clothing or other personal goods?
If we don't have the money to pay for the object ourselves, then we're obligated to not accept the object as a gift?
Is that how it works?
I'm not sure.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Snowflakes and Fingerprints
“People are like dirt. They can either nourish you and help you grow as a person or they can stunt your growth and make you wilt and die.” ~ Plato
My new friend, Chris Tinney, posted that quote on my Facebook page a couple weeks ago... and I’ve been contemplating it, and many other things, ever since.
I’ve been thinking about the movie “What the Bleep Do We know” and the water crystals...
I’ve been thinking about the book “A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose” and the ego-transcending lessons...
I’ve been thinking about all of the researching and searching... finding and redefining... growth and change...
I’ve been feeling and experiencing... wonder and awe... joy and compassion... love and contentment...
Living with intention, rather than sleepwalking in reactionary mode... and realizing that intention is much more than making plans...
Learning how to unclench my grip on afflictions... problematic emotions... transparency...
There is strength in letting go...
There is much freedom in letting go of past self-definitions... a reworking...
Learning how to project compassion with kindness... towards myself as well as others...
I find myself in love with the world....
Feeling more like a snowflake than a fingerprint
My new friend, Chris Tinney, posted that quote on my Facebook page a couple weeks ago... and I’ve been contemplating it, and many other things, ever since.
I’ve been thinking about the movie “What the Bleep Do We know” and the water crystals...
I’ve been thinking about the book “A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose” and the ego-transcending lessons...
I’ve been thinking about all of the researching and searching... finding and redefining... growth and change...
I’ve been feeling and experiencing... wonder and awe... joy and compassion... love and contentment...
Living with intention, rather than sleepwalking in reactionary mode... and realizing that intention is much more than making plans...
Learning how to unclench my grip on afflictions... problematic emotions... transparency...
There is strength in letting go...
There is much freedom in letting go of past self-definitions... a reworking...
Learning how to project compassion with kindness... towards myself as well as others...
I find myself in love with the world....
Feeling more like a snowflake than a fingerprint
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