Fringing

I feel like I'm "Fringing."
I've met so many people lately who feel disenfranchised, neglected, and even discriminated against - because they don't fit into a tidy little box or where they do fit isn't "in with the cool kids." And I'm sure a lot of us have been in that situation... because we're a little different than mainstream. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but I decided to blog it through.

It usually starts in elementary school. We're each categorized and graded, set into the pecking order which will help shape our self-identity. By high school, we're usually set into a classification and given a set of expectations of behavior. It happens in all hierarchical societies.

But what happens when we self-identify with a certain group/culture/society, and we come across someone who has a different set of expectations for its membership?

Let's use a silly, metaphorical conversation regarding fruit preserves to illustrate what I'm talking about:

Blue: "I love making grape jelly."
Red: "I love making peach jelly."
Blue: "Oh, I love that, too!"
Red: "Let's get together some time and make jelly!"
Blue: "That sounds great."
Green: "I like raspberry jam."
Red: "Raspberry! Who likes raspberry?" (scoff)
Blue: "That's not even jelly! That's jam!" (scoff)
Yellow: "I like orange marmalade."
Red: "Wow. That's even worse!"
Blue: "I know! Can you believe these two?"
Green: "But it's what we like, so it's what we make."
Red: "But it's not jelly."
Yellow: "So?"
Purple: "I made apple butter yesterday."
Red: "This is getting out of control! You all need to stop this! Everyone knows that peach and grape are the best flavors. And everyone knows that jelly is much better than jam, marmalade, or whatever."
Yellow: "Not to us."
Blue: "This is ridiculous. I've been preserving fruit for over a hundred years, and I have never made anything but jelly!"
Yellow: "So?"
Blue: "So you're going to give us all a bad name! I don't want to be associated with fruit preserve specialists who don't make jelly!"

Diversity, in all of its weirdness, enriches our lives, our cultures, our world. So why is it that we (humans) so often push away anything that doesn't fit in our neat little boxes? We push them away - out to the fringes of our egocentric societies.

When I say, "I'm Fringing," it's because I feel drawn to connect with those people who others have pushed away with their jelly-brained ideals.

Among the non-mainstream religious/spiritual people where I live, there are several who dwell on the outer fringe. They feel disenfranchised due to their rejection by the "inner circles" of the non-mainstream mainstream. They are the "others."
They are the Geekomancers, Technomancers, the Otherkin, Nightkind, Sanguinarians, and more. They are gnostic, agnostic, eclectic, eccentric, and some are even fundamentalists themselves. They're straight, gay, lesbian, queer, transgender, transexual, pansexual, asexual, sluts and virginal. They're lawyers, bartenders, artists, nurses, students, laborers, and whatever else they choose to do. They have families and friends, rivals and enemies.
In other words, they're just like the people who rejected them.

I think I have such a problem with it because I've been there - on both sides of that coin. Oh yeah. I'll admit it. I've been jelly-brained. I've outcast others so I could fit in better with the "cool kids." I talked smack and got a 2x4 from the Universe for the trouble and heartache I caused. And I remembered what it felt like on the other side of the coin. What it was to feel clumsy, naive, the square peg.

The Fringe is where I Dance now. That beautiful, colorful, egalitarian, perfect world of freaks and misfits - where everyone has a place, value, and purpose.
I've been told that such a world doesn't exist, but I know better.
It's here, all around us.
You just have to let go of one thing to find it ----