Last night at Tent City was an exceptional experience that I'm going to share with you all... last night I was shown (again) that the Street Teams of Spread Peace Reno deliver much more than food, clothing and shelter... we have been delivering Hope and Faith.
When Laramie and I first started helping with the nightly meals, we met Danny. This Viet Nam veteran was gruff, stand-offish, pessimistic, and ornery. He had little faith in humankind, or even himself. He had little hope for the future, little drive or initiative, beyond Tent City. We have seen a remarkable blossoming of the man's spirit over the past months.
A few weeks into our service, Laramie had a meltdown at Tent City... when a gentleman there confided in her that he "wished the Lord would take him and alleviate his pain and suffering." Danny was there to console Laramie in her tears, and I believe that seeing her compassion for a man she had just met truly touched Danny's heart.
From that week on, Danny met us with a smile. He talked about going back to school to become a chef. He talked about working with the VA to get a roof over his head. He talked about inviting us to dinner for a meal of his own cooking.
He began speaking with Hope in his words. Last night, he showed us a key to a place with four walls and a roof.
During last evening's visit, Laramie and I heard a man singing a song from the movie "O Brother Where Art Thou?" so we joined in. Our songs and laughter touched the heart of another man... and last night we began bringing hope and faith to him. I don't know his name, so I'll call him Arkansas... since that's where he's from, and why the songs from the movie "take him back home."
At some point during this last week, Arkansas injured the L4 and L5 vertebrae in his spine. He is going to need surgery to correct it. After the surgery, he will be put in a place where he will get the physical and occupational therapy that he will need to gain employment... and he will have "three hots and a cot" for a while, too. But, until then, he will be sleeping on the ground in a tent. Through the loving donations from another, we were able to provide him with a pillow, a small measure of comfort, considering his physical condition.
The pillow was nice, but the songs did so much more. They had so much meaning for him... they were like a sign from the universe that he will be alright... hope.
When the Street Teams take food to Tent City, we are delivering more than meals... we are delivering Hope and Faith.
This is not faith in a greater power or god... not faith in humankind... not just faith in themselves... but Faith. The kind of Faith that is all encompassing... the kind that is more than a feeling, but a state of being.
They dare to Hope.
And in that Hope and Faith, they dare to feel ok with who they are... they begin to dare to dream... and in that dreaming, they begin to explore new horizons and think of ways to get to where they want to be... literally or figuratively... they dare to try... dare to succeed... and then they do.
And it all started with a bowl of soup... a smile... a hug... a song...
I am so grateful for the opportunity to really See this beauty.
Namaste'
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Amazing synchronicity
This weekend was full of amazing moments.
I had scheduled a ceremony for a day that I thought would work well. I had figured that Gavin would have home already for at least a week, Cassi would have been settled in, etc. I didn't happen that way... I didn't have the energy resource to spend on trying to research an appropriate ceremony, etc... then I realized I really
didn't care, and neither did it matter.
I played a game with the kids, then talked about how "being accountable" is seen far too often in a negative light, and how I feel that accepting accountability for things we do that are Good is just as important.
To me, accepting accountability for growth and positives doesn't happen as often as it should. Often times we can accept recognition when other people tell us we've accomplished things... when they give us belts, cords, medals, certificates, diplomas, etc... but how often do we recognize accomplishment without someone else telling us we can claim it? Well, I claimed it for myself... and then thanked everyone for being there to help me with my accomplishments.
Then... this morning... an old friend called out of the blue... to tell me how his life is going... how wonderful his life has turned out... and he called to tell me that he appreciates me. He called to tell me that I accomplished something I had no idea I even did. He feels that I saved his life. After his first wife passed, he went off the deep end. He says I saved his life... by doing nothing more than just by being me. The talks we had were great and opened doors for him... but what gets him through the hard times he's experiencing now are the memories of being accepted, welcomed, and loved when so very many others had given up on him. His current wife needs a liver transplant... he has three children now, one that needs constant focused attention, and another that has to be fed through a tube... and yet, he's spiritually and emotionally ok. And he chose this morning to call to thank me for giving him a model to emulate.
I am so incredibly blessed and grateful. To know that I had an impact like that on one life, that extends to the many lives around him, his family, his friends, and the soldiers he's in charge of... I am so grateful that I was given such an amazing opportunity...
If I had one wish I could grant this moment, it would be that everyone could feel what I experienced this morning.
I had scheduled a ceremony for a day that I thought would work well. I had figured that Gavin would have home already for at least a week, Cassi would have been settled in, etc. I didn't happen that way... I didn't have the energy resource to spend on trying to research an appropriate ceremony, etc... then I realized I really
didn't care, and neither did it matter.
I played a game with the kids, then talked about how "being accountable" is seen far too often in a negative light, and how I feel that accepting accountability for things we do that are Good is just as important.
To me, accepting accountability for growth and positives doesn't happen as often as it should. Often times we can accept recognition when other people tell us we've accomplished things... when they give us belts, cords, medals, certificates, diplomas, etc... but how often do we recognize accomplishment without someone else telling us we can claim it? Well, I claimed it for myself... and then thanked everyone for being there to help me with my accomplishments.
Then... this morning... an old friend called out of the blue... to tell me how his life is going... how wonderful his life has turned out... and he called to tell me that he appreciates me. He called to tell me that I accomplished something I had no idea I even did. He feels that I saved his life. After his first wife passed, he went off the deep end. He says I saved his life... by doing nothing more than just by being me. The talks we had were great and opened doors for him... but what gets him through the hard times he's experiencing now are the memories of being accepted, welcomed, and loved when so very many others had given up on him. His current wife needs a liver transplant... he has three children now, one that needs constant focused attention, and another that has to be fed through a tube... and yet, he's spiritually and emotionally ok. And he chose this morning to call to thank me for giving him a model to emulate.
I am so incredibly blessed and grateful. To know that I had an impact like that on one life, that extends to the many lives around him, his family, his friends, and the soldiers he's in charge of... I am so grateful that I was given such an amazing opportunity...
If I had one wish I could grant this moment, it would be that everyone could feel what I experienced this morning.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Feeling and Doing
How you feel emotionally about things is recorded in every cell of the body, in your personality, your mind, in your Core.
When we talk of giving charitably... of feeding the hungry, giving water to the thirsty, giving shelter to the homeless... what is being given and to whom it goes, are not essential to the wholeness of the giver. It is the feeling you experience when you openly, lovingly Give that registers within the giver.
When Love is the motivation, giving water to a dying plant or giving food to a hungry person gains as much Enlightenment and Knowing of Life and Creation as any meditation or religious practice.
Action is only a channel in which the feeling, the intent, is allowed to be expressed, experienced, and fills the eternal part of us.
When we talk of giving charitably... of feeding the hungry, giving water to the thirsty, giving shelter to the homeless... what is being given and to whom it goes, are not essential to the wholeness of the giver. It is the feeling you experience when you openly, lovingly Give that registers within the giver.
When Love is the motivation, giving water to a dying plant or giving food to a hungry person gains as much Enlightenment and Knowing of Life and Creation as any meditation or religious practice.
Action is only a channel in which the feeling, the intent, is allowed to be expressed, experienced, and fills the eternal part of us.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Unpredictable Behavior
A couple years ago, when the economy started to tank heavily, several people in my life began making predictions regarding what they considered to be the imminent behavior of humans.
These predictions were rather dark & gloomy, boasting that the selfish and violent side of human behavior would prevail and degrade urban civilization into mobs of "me first" gangs by the summer of 2010.
People who made these predictions believe that human compassion is a concept that is implied by society, not an innate urge, and would be drastically reduced (or completely gone) by this point in the economic downturn.
Really?
I wonder how they're going to explain the actual urban trends... at least here in Reno, Nevada...
Violent crime (per thousand): Down.
Burglary: Down.
Contributions to local charities (not including world-wide relief efforts): Up.
It certainly doesn't show their predicted fall of society... I wonder how they will explain it.
These predictions were rather dark & gloomy, boasting that the selfish and violent side of human behavior would prevail and degrade urban civilization into mobs of "me first" gangs by the summer of 2010.
People who made these predictions believe that human compassion is a concept that is implied by society, not an innate urge, and would be drastically reduced (or completely gone) by this point in the economic downturn.
Really?
I wonder how they're going to explain the actual urban trends... at least here in Reno, Nevada...
Violent crime (per thousand): Down.
Burglary: Down.
Contributions to local charities (not including world-wide relief efforts): Up.
It certainly doesn't show their predicted fall of society... I wonder how they will explain it.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Bombs or Medicine
I was talking to a friend the other day about classes and courses, and the people who take them, receive certification from them, and/or teach them... their actions, attitudes, etc...
Since our conversation, there's been a lot of chatter with some of the same questions and comments... so I'm tackling the topic here, giving my point of view...
When I was talking my friend, I explained it like this:
What we're talking about is a technology, like any other, and how they use it depends on their personal ethics and cultural values... like somebody with a degree in chemistry could make bombs or medicine, it all depends on application. All of the "How could they..." or "How dare they..." or other kinds of "What the hell?" type of thoughts you may have regarding their actions and attitudes indicates a difference of values and ethics.
Does that mean their values and ethics are wrong and bad, while yours are right and good?
ehhh... maybe, though not necessarily. Until you take a step back and look at the cultural lens, rather than through it, all it really means is that they're different.
That being said, let's take a look at what that cultural lens is, and how it plays out.
We each have a set of behavioral expectations that are connected to social roles... these are based on the cultural values, whether from an overall culture, an institutional culture, or from a personal micro-culture.
Behavioral expectations: this is a set of actions, activities, and attitudes that are accepted and expected... to act, think, or believe in ways contrary to these expectations is unacceptable or taboo within the culture promoting them.
Social roles: these are often labels we use to describe a certain sect of individuals who hold a position in society... examples would include: mother, sister, lover, friend, healer, teacher, student, clergy, etc
Values: more than simply an accepted morality, this also indicates the value of an ideal, symbol, attitude, belief, action, etc.
Behavioral expectations can be made into laws within the culture, though some are not. There are no laws that say you have to keep your nasal mucus from running down your face, but there is a behavioral expectation, isn't there? There may also be restrictions for people in health care roles, too. The behavioral expectation is based on a cultural value and taboo regarding bodily fluids.
Using the above example, let's take a look at tools and technologies. The same technology (wiping the face) is also used when little Johnny uses his sleeve to wipe off Aunt Martha's familial kisses. However, there are expectations and taboos regarding using the same tool (sleeve) to wipe snot from his nose.
Now let's look at the "How dare you - how could you - what the hell" type of thinking regarding behavioral expectations. I used to know an elderly woman who would have mortified if she saw me using toilet paper on my nose. In her belief, every proper woman would have a hanky stuffed up her sleeve or tucked into her purse for that purpose... and you just didn't use the same tool for your nose and your arse. She was VERY set in her behavioral expectations... to the point where any deviation was so unacceptable that it would severely hamper our relationship.
The same concept can be applied to religion, spirituality, spiritual technologies, and cultural methodologies.
Personally, I place a high Value on independence... I value expressions of individuality and diversity much more than those of conformity... and a negative value on "One-True-Way" beliefs and "My way is the right way" pressures.
There are people in my life who do not believe as I do... who have different opinions... even times when we are both using the same data to support dramatically opposed opinions (which actually happens a lot more than most realize)... and that's ok.
It doesn't mean that I want to consistently hang out with the people with dramatically opposed values and beliefs. And I strongly feel that to try to convince them to change their beliefs, values, and attitudes is an infringement upon their independence... but I don't have to be affected by them, either (laws excepted).
I do not have to engage in the drama of attempted proselytism... no one does... no one has to try to force their Values and behavioral expectations onto another person, regardless of the social role the other claims... that action is as much of a choice as anything the other does.
That's right. You have a choice. I know a lot of people who don't think they have that choice... they think that not responding would mean something more (or be seen as something more) than simple non-engagement... but all that extra, added meaning is actually a "superior/inferior" ego story that's been fluffed and stuffed with suppositions and inferences.
There's another aspect to intolerance, too... and that's the "once a bomb-maker, always a bomb-maker" attitude, that doesn't allow for personal growth... but this post is quite long enough.
Namaste
Since our conversation, there's been a lot of chatter with some of the same questions and comments... so I'm tackling the topic here, giving my point of view...
When I was talking my friend, I explained it like this:
What we're talking about is a technology, like any other, and how they use it depends on their personal ethics and cultural values... like somebody with a degree in chemistry could make bombs or medicine, it all depends on application. All of the "How could they..." or "How dare they..." or other kinds of "What the hell?" type of thoughts you may have regarding their actions and attitudes indicates a difference of values and ethics.
Does that mean their values and ethics are wrong and bad, while yours are right and good?
ehhh... maybe, though not necessarily. Until you take a step back and look at the cultural lens, rather than through it, all it really means is that they're different.
That being said, let's take a look at what that cultural lens is, and how it plays out.
We each have a set of behavioral expectations that are connected to social roles... these are based on the cultural values, whether from an overall culture, an institutional culture, or from a personal micro-culture.
Behavioral expectations: this is a set of actions, activities, and attitudes that are accepted and expected... to act, think, or believe in ways contrary to these expectations is unacceptable or taboo within the culture promoting them.
Social roles: these are often labels we use to describe a certain sect of individuals who hold a position in society... examples would include: mother, sister, lover, friend, healer, teacher, student, clergy, etc
Values: more than simply an accepted morality, this also indicates the value of an ideal, symbol, attitude, belief, action, etc.
Behavioral expectations can be made into laws within the culture, though some are not. There are no laws that say you have to keep your nasal mucus from running down your face, but there is a behavioral expectation, isn't there? There may also be restrictions for people in health care roles, too. The behavioral expectation is based on a cultural value and taboo regarding bodily fluids.
Using the above example, let's take a look at tools and technologies. The same technology (wiping the face) is also used when little Johnny uses his sleeve to wipe off Aunt Martha's familial kisses. However, there are expectations and taboos regarding using the same tool (sleeve) to wipe snot from his nose.
Now let's look at the "How dare you - how could you - what the hell" type of thinking regarding behavioral expectations. I used to know an elderly woman who would have mortified if she saw me using toilet paper on my nose. In her belief, every proper woman would have a hanky stuffed up her sleeve or tucked into her purse for that purpose... and you just didn't use the same tool for your nose and your arse. She was VERY set in her behavioral expectations... to the point where any deviation was so unacceptable that it would severely hamper our relationship.
The same concept can be applied to religion, spirituality, spiritual technologies, and cultural methodologies.
Personally, I place a high Value on independence... I value expressions of individuality and diversity much more than those of conformity... and a negative value on "One-True-Way" beliefs and "My way is the right way" pressures.
There are people in my life who do not believe as I do... who have different opinions... even times when we are both using the same data to support dramatically opposed opinions (which actually happens a lot more than most realize)... and that's ok.
It doesn't mean that I want to consistently hang out with the people with dramatically opposed values and beliefs. And I strongly feel that to try to convince them to change their beliefs, values, and attitudes is an infringement upon their independence... but I don't have to be affected by them, either (laws excepted).
I do not have to engage in the drama of attempted proselytism... no one does... no one has to try to force their Values and behavioral expectations onto another person, regardless of the social role the other claims... that action is as much of a choice as anything the other does.
That's right. You have a choice. I know a lot of people who don't think they have that choice... they think that not responding would mean something more (or be seen as something more) than simple non-engagement... but all that extra, added meaning is actually a "superior/inferior" ego story that's been fluffed and stuffed with suppositions and inferences.
There's another aspect to intolerance, too... and that's the "once a bomb-maker, always a bomb-maker" attitude, that doesn't allow for personal growth... but this post is quite long enough.
Namaste
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Ego Stories
What is an Ego Story, and how do they develop?
An Ego Story is a tale that we tell ourselves which may or may not be completely true. Regardless of the quantity or quality of verifiable facts, the ego uses these stories as a facet of our self-identification. Stories actually allow the Extrinsic Ego to affect deeper into the spiral and closer to our Core. Although the reasons the stories develop can vary, the process is generally the same.
The ego finds a dataset to work with, external to the person.
The dataset is compared to the self.
The dataset is compared to previous stories and experiences.
A value is placed on the dataset.
A story is created to place the self in a superior or inferior position, relative to the value of the dataset.
The ego self-identifies through the superior/inferior position within the story.
Let’s follow a few hypothetical people in hypothetical situations...
Jane is watching television one night and sees a commercial for wrinkle cream. Her ego grabs onto the message, “You don’t have to look old and wrinkled; you can look young and beautiful.” The commercial shows women of her age enjoying romantic encounters, happy family lives, successful careers, and active lifestyles. When Jane is readying for bed, she notices the lines and wrinkles on her face like she has never noticed them before. Her ego begins to tell her the story... the reason Jane is not living a fruitful life is because she’s showing signs of age... the women in the commercial are superior to Jane... wrinkles have a negative value, looking young has a positive value. Jane begins to think of all of the women in her life, comparing her signs of age to theirs. She beings to see herself as either superior or inferior to each woman by the amount of wrinkles and lines on their faces.
We can substitute virtually anything in the place of those wrinkles and lines. It could be a material possession, family name, an aspect of beauty, or any other facet that is outside of a person’s inner-self.
Lucy meets up with her friends at a bar for Ladies’ Night Out. Tammy proudly shows off the jewelry a new boyfriend gifted to her. Lucy’s ego takes her on a stroll down Memory Lane to a time when Lucy’s sister received jewelry as an apology for her boyfriend’s cheating ways. Before long, Lucy is telling her other friends that Tammy’s new boyfriend “must be a cheating, lying creep.”
Lucy’s ego feels superior to others because she feels she knows something they don’t know, although most of the story is a creation of the ego, unsupported by the facts of the known dataset. The subject and players in the story can be substituted with an infinitude of variations... "I used to live in a bad area, so I know a criminal when I see one"... "I used to get picked on by jocks, so I know they're all terrible people"... etc.
Tammy's ego feels superior to the others because her boyfriend spent a lot of money on her, and it's something the other ladies don't have.
ANY story that creates a superior/inferior situation is an Ego Story that sabotages our relationship with Core.
An Ego Story is a tale that we tell ourselves which may or may not be completely true. Regardless of the quantity or quality of verifiable facts, the ego uses these stories as a facet of our self-identification. Stories actually allow the Extrinsic Ego to affect deeper into the spiral and closer to our Core. Although the reasons the stories develop can vary, the process is generally the same.
The ego finds a dataset to work with, external to the person.
The dataset is compared to the self.
The dataset is compared to previous stories and experiences.
A value is placed on the dataset.
A story is created to place the self in a superior or inferior position, relative to the value of the dataset.
The ego self-identifies through the superior/inferior position within the story.
Let’s follow a few hypothetical people in hypothetical situations...
Jane is watching television one night and sees a commercial for wrinkle cream. Her ego grabs onto the message, “You don’t have to look old and wrinkled; you can look young and beautiful.” The commercial shows women of her age enjoying romantic encounters, happy family lives, successful careers, and active lifestyles. When Jane is readying for bed, she notices the lines and wrinkles on her face like she has never noticed them before. Her ego begins to tell her the story... the reason Jane is not living a fruitful life is because she’s showing signs of age... the women in the commercial are superior to Jane... wrinkles have a negative value, looking young has a positive value. Jane begins to think of all of the women in her life, comparing her signs of age to theirs. She beings to see herself as either superior or inferior to each woman by the amount of wrinkles and lines on their faces.
We can substitute virtually anything in the place of those wrinkles and lines. It could be a material possession, family name, an aspect of beauty, or any other facet that is outside of a person’s inner-self.
Lucy meets up with her friends at a bar for Ladies’ Night Out. Tammy proudly shows off the jewelry a new boyfriend gifted to her. Lucy’s ego takes her on a stroll down Memory Lane to a time when Lucy’s sister received jewelry as an apology for her boyfriend’s cheating ways. Before long, Lucy is telling her other friends that Tammy’s new boyfriend “must be a cheating, lying creep.”
Lucy’s ego feels superior to others because she feels she knows something they don’t know, although most of the story is a creation of the ego, unsupported by the facts of the known dataset. The subject and players in the story can be substituted with an infinitude of variations... "I used to live in a bad area, so I know a criminal when I see one"... "I used to get picked on by jocks, so I know they're all terrible people"... etc.
Tammy's ego feels superior to the others because her boyfriend spent a lot of money on her, and it's something the other ladies don't have.
ANY story that creates a superior/inferior situation is an Ego Story that sabotages our relationship with Core.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Is That So?
I don't know how many times I've said something like, "It's a struggle to stay positive when I'm being bombarded with negativity..."
I recently realized that "struggling to stay positive" is much like "f*cking to stay a virgin." It doesn't make sense... and the more I contemplate it, the less it adds up.
So what does make sense? How would one deal with negativity in a positive way? The answer is not resisting or allowing it to influence you.
I'm still working on it... haven't perfected the skill quite yet... but I have a better understanding of the working concept...
The Zen Master Hakuin lived in a town in Japan. He was held in high regard and many people came to him for spiritual teaching. Then it happened that the teenage daughter of his next-door neighbor became pregnant. When being questioned by her angry and scolding parents as to the identity of the father, she finally told them that he was Hakuin, the Zen Master. In great anger the parents rushed over to Hakuin and told him with much shouting and accusing that their daughter had confessed he was the father. All he replied was, "Is that so?"
News of the scandal spread throughout the town and beyond. The Master lost his reputation. This did not trouble him. Nobody came to see him anymore. He remained unmoved. When the child was born, the parents brought the baby to Hakuin. "You are the father, so you look after him." The Master took loving care of the child. A year later, the mother remorsefully confessed to her parents that the real father of the child was the young man who worked at the butcher shop. In great distress they went to see Hakuin to apologize and ask his forgiveness, "We are really sorry. We have come to take the baby back. Our daughter has confessed that you are not the father." "Is that so?" is all he would say as he handed the baby back over to them.
The Master responds to falsehood and truth, bad news and good news, in exactly the same way: "Is that so?"
He allows the form of the Moment, good or bad, to be as it is and so he does not participate in the human drama of the "superior/inferior" stories of ego.
Events are not personalized. He is nobody's victim. He is so completely at one with what happens that what happens has no power over him anymore.
Only if you resist what happens are you at the mercy of what happens, and the world will determine your happiness and unhappiness.
I recently realized that "struggling to stay positive" is much like "f*cking to stay a virgin." It doesn't make sense... and the more I contemplate it, the less it adds up.
So what does make sense? How would one deal with negativity in a positive way? The answer is not resisting or allowing it to influence you.
I'm still working on it... haven't perfected the skill quite yet... but I have a better understanding of the working concept...
The Zen Master Hakuin lived in a town in Japan. He was held in high regard and many people came to him for spiritual teaching. Then it happened that the teenage daughter of his next-door neighbor became pregnant. When being questioned by her angry and scolding parents as to the identity of the father, she finally told them that he was Hakuin, the Zen Master. In great anger the parents rushed over to Hakuin and told him with much shouting and accusing that their daughter had confessed he was the father. All he replied was, "Is that so?"
News of the scandal spread throughout the town and beyond. The Master lost his reputation. This did not trouble him. Nobody came to see him anymore. He remained unmoved. When the child was born, the parents brought the baby to Hakuin. "You are the father, so you look after him." The Master took loving care of the child. A year later, the mother remorsefully confessed to her parents that the real father of the child was the young man who worked at the butcher shop. In great distress they went to see Hakuin to apologize and ask his forgiveness, "We are really sorry. We have come to take the baby back. Our daughter has confessed that you are not the father." "Is that so?" is all he would say as he handed the baby back over to them.
The Master responds to falsehood and truth, bad news and good news, in exactly the same way: "Is that so?"
He allows the form of the Moment, good or bad, to be as it is and so he does not participate in the human drama of the "superior/inferior" stories of ego.
Events are not personalized. He is nobody's victim. He is so completely at one with what happens that what happens has no power over him anymore.
Only if you resist what happens are you at the mercy of what happens, and the world will determine your happiness and unhappiness.
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