Living Without Fear

Back in October 2007, I had a stroke. A TIA to be exact. It's when the body throws several small blood clots instead of one big one. Just as dangerous and possibly debilitating.
I'm re-posting some of my reaction to the stroke (from my other blog)... because I think there are some others who could benefit from what I had to say

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A lot of people have said "omg, you must have been so scared..."
hmm....
no.... not really... on a scale of 1 to 10... one being nothing, five being anxious, and ten being peeing-your-pants... I'd rate my anxiety and concern at about a 4 at it's highest point... which was right after it all started. I went into "damage control mode" and really didn't feel anything over about a 2.5 after that. I was concerned, but there was no "oh shit factor"... it was... "ok, let's deal with this, whatever this is going to be, and move on"

One of the reasons people can have a stroke (or TIA) is from stress and anxiety. Usually from fear.
The fear of failure, the fear of loss, the fear of being passed up for that promotion, the fear of not getting everything handled before the deadline, the financial fears of living outside your means, the fear of the project not going as planned, the fear of letting people down, the fear of rejection or ridicule, etc.

Any of those sound familiar?

How many of us are more afraid of Life than we are of Death?
Many of us, on the spiritual path we've chosen, deal with dying, death, and the spirits of the dead on a regular basis.
And yet... how many of us still fear aspects of Life? is living scarier than dying?
Why should it be? Why fret over "shoulda-coulda-woulda's?"
Why let "what-if's" keep you quagmired at status quo?

Step out on a limb.
Don't fear failure.
Do it. Whatever "it" is.
If everyone played it safe all the time, we wouldn't have half what we do. If everyone gave up when they failed once, would we have these marvelous machines that allow us to talk like this, thousands of miles away? If everyone was afraid of getting themselves emotionally invested, how many social programs and charities would there be?
I'm not talking about taking on too much... I'm not talking about making your life so crazy-busy that you can't breathe...

I'm talking about Life Without Fear.

Think about it.

When we get the most anxious is when we're not living in integrity.
When we cringe every time the phone rings with the fear that it's a creditor calling for money we spent on something else.
When we dread the alarm clock in the morning because we're going to a job we've come to despise.
When we decide to stay backstage because we're too afraid of stepping into the spotlight.

My energy has been scattered helterskelter. For the fear of letting a few people down, I've spread myself too thin to be effective anywhere.
Time to focus.
Time to let go of the fear that I may hurt someone's feelings if I'm just not there to do it one more time.

I'm not going to slow down. I'm not going to take it easy. I'm going to be choosy. but I'm going to dance on that proverbial limb until it bears fruit.